Expectations & Reality

As a person, we feel this world is a huge place and we, as an individual, are here to deal with so many things. We compare our life with our close family, then extended family, neighbours, friends, achievers, successful icons etc. There is nothing wrong about it, but the issue develops when we want to be like them. When it doesn’t happen we ask our-self questions, “Why it does not happen with me?”

We need to understand that every individual is different, everyone lives a different life. No lives are identical, no circumstances are identical and no reactions are identical.

Stress has become the part of our day to day life. Strangely, People have started accepting it as a positive aspect for better outcome. Management professionals have even started promoting Stress as motivational factor for success. A matter of argument!

Ambition is good but it must be realistic.

Stress is a feeling of excessive demand being made on one’s physical and mental energy. It is not a naturally occurring problem. It is a problem created by individuals themselves. People want to live life according to their own way of thinking. It is the gap between Expectation and Reality.

It means that there are two factors that we need to work upon. First is the Expectation.

It is funny to know that normally, it is the expectation of the people around us that we try to fulfil at most of the time. In everyday life, we do so many tasks just to please people, because we think if we do this, we will be liked or appreciated. We are looking for validation. As a matter of fact probably no one is even bothered to look at what we did or do, and that brings more disappointment and we develop a thought “See, I did so much but nobody cares”.

Second aspect is Reality. Sometimes we expect ourselves to do and achieve something which is beyond our capabilities, and it adds whole lot of undue stress on ourselves. I have come across very few people who truly understand their capabilities and accept it. There are many who do know their limitations but are not ready to accept it. They always try to fool themselves and everyone around them. In the process it deeply disturbs their mental and physical health. We only tend to realise when it reaches beyond limits.

When you feel there is something which you cannot do, it is always better to accept it and let people know that you will not be able to do it. It resolves many unwanted situations. Remember, Realistic planning is the right planning.

People come to me with many different issues. Financial stress, health issues, relationship issues, past life traumas etc. and every time when we dig deeper, we come to the realisation that all issues are related to Non-acceptance of the Reality.

There are many ways to make it easier. To start with, follow steps as mentioned below:

1. Develop a habit to sit silently for at least 30 minutes every day.
2. Analyse your present situation which is most challenging
3. Ask yourself if you really wish to do it
4. Ask yourself if you have all the resources to do it
5. Analyse how is it going to affect you
6. Analyse how is it going to affect your surroundings
7. Ask yourself if it is really required

Last question may be the most significant one. I want you to be truly honest while doing this. How long will you blame others for all the wrongs that you have done in your life. When will you have the courage to accept your mistakes and accept the way you are.

Be ready to accept the reality and then you will certainly be able to enjoy a stress free life.

Hope it will give you better insight.

Stay happy, stay healthy, stay blessed.